So, it has been six months since I retired. In my mind a mile marker. I have watched vids of retired folks talking about what it is like moving into retirement. Many have this six month thing… like you better have it figured out after six months. I was sort of concerned, having not figured much of anything out after six months. However, we took a winter vacation 10 or so days ago to Florida, Clearwater Beach to be exact. I have not been to the Gulf (of? Not going there here) in over 50 years. I was excited to return and experience the mornings… the mornings always stuck so clearly in my head. The sights and sounds but above it all, the smell. The ocean smell to be exact. Anyway, enough of that… it was great, I got tan, collected shells and just had a wonderful time with my Lovely One.
I did not come home with any real revelations about retirement but what I did was, let go. I had no appetite the first day there and basically really only ate one piece of cinnamon bread. I regained my appetite in subsequent days. It was not Florida, it was me. So in navigating being on a vacation, I have wanted to do for some 50 years, and not being able to eat anything, or wanting to, I could not pretend everything was great because it wasn’t, I had to just “be”. I did all the things those first two days that anyone would expect one to do in Florida. Just because my gut hurt I was not going to sit this one out. So, I learned to be comfortable, while I was not. I was fine again after those first 2.5 days but believe me, a recurrence was always in the back of my mind. But, I held onto that same attitude of just being IN the moments.
In all that I did not have to make anything happen. In fact I did not even need to control things like I can try to do when I do not feel well. I really was not concerned with “the next moment”. I was fully present in, each and every moment. I now realize that getting to the point of fully being in the moment, with only that mattering. That realization, has become my six month marker. I sort of realized how controlling I can be. It was sort of a letting go. I am hoping this lesson sticks with me for a while. There’s a lot more months left to the journey and much more to learn.
Take a look at the Florida gallery HERE!
